When God Directs

“And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.” -Isaiah 11:2

Visiting places for the first time is an adventure. There is a sense of excitement and a bit of anxiety. Feeling some kind of fear is but natural and having the right dose of it is healthy. I would always check on the map and the signages, making sure I am in the right direction and not violating any rules.

As it has always been my role to be the appointed “guide” when all of us are first-timers in a place, I make sure I do a lot of research. The rest, I put my faith on the Lord.

Guangzhou’s highway.

I still vividly recall when I first visited China with a friend. We were bound for Guangzhou, which is formerly Canton. The challenge was that not many could converse in English.

One time we had to take the bus. Since most of the signages were written in Chinese characters, where my knowledge is nil, I was trying to assess and evaluate what places the characters represent. With my head almost getting heavy trying to crack my brains, I relied on my gut feel.

A street in Guangzhou.

We passed by eight bus stops and as we proceeded to the ninth, we had this feeling that we were supposed to get down at the eighth stop. We decided to get off at the ninth and asked around. True enough, we were supposed to have taken the previous stop, so we took another bus to the opposite direction until we got to our destination.

Sometimes in life, we make wrong decisions. It may be driven by our priorities, or influenced by people around us. Yet, the Lord always plant in our hearts a sense of unease so we can take the right path.

A child wanders and walks off from her mother.

When I was working with a PR agency, I had this feeling of emptiness in my heart. The Lord vividly told me to work where I can serve the poor. So I worked in non-profit organizations. The time though came when I felt I had to save more and invest in my future. When an opportunity came that offered an Assistant Vice President position in a company, I immediately took the chance. I began feeling dissatisfied with my everyday life. I moved to another company after six months. Now, I still feel something is missing.

It is not a nice feeling but I trust that the Lord wants me to take another path. I may have missed the right bus stop. But He will provide me a way to go back and guide me to the right direction. Right now, there is a longing in my heart to live in another country outside my own. There are many apprehensions but I believe that like Abraham, I should just jump in and trust in the Almighty.

As I was writing this entry, this song played in the background:

“My Heart Will Trust”

By Hillsong

I’ll walk closer now on the higher way
Through the darkest night will you hold my hand
Jesus guide my way
O you mourn with me and you dance with me
For my heart of hearts is bound to you

Though I walk through valleys low
I’ll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul
My heart will trust in You

O You counsel me and You comfort me
When I cannot see,
You light my path

My heart will trust in you